Go first

Last week’s blog generated the most feedback since I started this blog – I received more than a dozen emails and more WhatsApps.  It warms my post-corporate heart to hear something I’ve written strikes a chord.  The word “resonated” was used in almost every one – good.  That’s what I mean to do with these blogs – and the book - resonate with you, use my experience and my empathy to help you see you’re not alone, what you’re feeling is pretty normal and that there is a way out.

I made it out and so can you if you choose.  Many of you already have.

The idea in last week’s blog was “Backing yourself” and I’ve used it numerous times this week in client conversations, podcasts and several Instagram posts.  I think it resonates as an idea because it’s linked to our view of ourselves.

We might not notice or acknowledge how our confidence has dipped over time.  We might not allow our imposter syndrome to rear its ugly head in the jobs we know so well.  We might not look very far over the precipice and ask ourselves what next or what if?

But “Would I back myself?” is pretty visceral.

You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to. Not yet at least. Especially if you think you might know the answer.

Just do something.

Take a step towards backing yourself.

I’m reminded of a line in the most recent Corporate Escapologist podcast from my guest Kia Cannons.  She’s an intuitive artist and coach and she helps female artists find their purpose and rekindle their connection with art.  She said:

“I find that this is a theme in life. You've got to go first. You've got to say I want this and I'm taking this for me.”

For Kia it was spending £96 on an art course that opened up a completely new creative pathway at a time she really needed something just for herself.

But for you it might be a book you read (I hope soon it might be Corporate Escapology).  It might be a serendipitous meeting, a Zoom call you almost cancelled, or a course, a qualification, an extra-curricular project.  Or posting something online, buying a website address, saying yes to someone when you would normally say no.

You’ve got to go first.

You have to back yourself first.

It needs just a little self-belief.  And that little bit can grow – and grow.

These blogs don’t take me very long to get out of my head, but all the time I’m writing them I’m agonising over whether they’re good enough.  Whether they’re Captain Obvious. Whether they’re repetitive.  Whether you’re there out of pity, clicking open so I feel good when I look at the analytics.

And then, most weeks I get lovely messages that say you’re grateful or glad or feel less alone, and my self-doubt falls away. Until next week.

I still do it.  Because I’m backing myself.

If I don’t go first you might not.

I wrote a blog on Medium when I was at bp.  I wrote four in fact.  Then I gave up.

I didn’t back myself then.  I rarely did.  I was reliant on other people’s views and praise of me.  I didn’t always believe I was worth that much.

I didn’t dwell on it then, I only realise it now.

Today, I feel much more independent, more resilient, more worthwhile.

But I didn’t back myself by walking out of my job in a blaze of glory; I waited for a redundancy programme.

I don’t think we need to back ourselves quite that much.

Just enough.

Take a small action.  Like Kia, do something for yourself.  Go away for a weekend to think, invest in a coach, write something, retrain, shadow someone doing what you might want to do.

Take the first step.

Because when you start believing in yourself and backing yourself, you’ll probably start to see what everyone else has seen all along.

If you know someone who needs to hear this right now, maybe someone struggling with redundancy or the threat of it, share this blog. Or give them hope by pointing them to my podcast with other Corporate Escapologists. Or maybe you could gift them my Escape Plan course as the best kind of Valentine’s Day present.

Corporate Escapology is out on July 2nd and available for pre-order on the mighty Amazon.