I suspected it might happen...

A creeping imposter syndrome as the book nears publication (July 2 - pre-order, pre-order).

Who am I, Adam Forbes, to have written a book on leaving a corporate career?

I wasn’t a big hot shot executive. Nor did I leap spectacularly to blitz-scale a household name startup. I don’t give Tony Robbins style talks to devoted fans.  I’m not making millions and I’ve not found my purpose.

I’m actually pretty ordinary.

And I suppose so is imposter syndrome. Boringly ordinary.

The publisher phoned today to say “Amazon has bought an unusual number of hardback copies of your book – do you know why?” I suspect they’re worried Amazon is going to send them back when they realise their algorithm got it wrong.

Did you pre-order one?

That made the imposter syndrome notch up as I pictured a mountain of hardback copies dumped on my driveway, blocking me from taking the kids to school.

I don’t know if it’s age, experience or, quite frankly, not working in a corporate career, but I generally feel more stable these days.  More capable of observing panic, catastrophising, imposter syndrome and all my other helpful/unhelpful attributes without succumbing to the kind of decline I faced earlier in life.

I put a lot of it down to feel safer.

And if I’m honest, I put that down to working for myself – which is odd because I am much less cosseted and protected than when I was in my comfy corporate job. Less safe in theory.

I’ve said before that I relied a lot then on other people’s opinions, pats on the head, attaboys, performance reviews.

And it made me too vulnerable. I think I trusted other people more than I trusted myself.

And I’m not talking ten or twenty years ago, I’m talking just four or five.

A grown man. With his own teenage kids.

I’m not saying everyone in a corporate job lets that happen.  But I suspect I’m not alone.

So when I say I’ve got a bout of imposter syndrome about my book coming out, this time I think it’s actually pretty normal.

I’m genuinely vulnerable this time. I’m doing what Seth Godin says in Here, I made this: “These four words carry generosity, intent, risk and intimacy with them.”

And that’s true – I feel them all.  I reckon it would be weird if I didn’t.

I’m excited about you reading the book - and nervous.

But mostly excited, because I do think it’s good.  And this week one of my friends Meryl, somehow got a copy in the post!  And you know what she said:

“I’m totally in awe honestly. A process and models and a whole book. Very impressive”.

But a nano-second later I’m thinking, “Well, she hasn’t read it yet”.

You can take the boy out of the corporate, but can you take the corporate out of the boy?