But why?

It’s often easier to say what we don’t want, than what we do.

I knew I no longer wanted a routine 9-5 in a corporate.  I’d known that for some time.  But knowing what I wanted to do instead was much more challenging.

That uncertainty kept me from moving.  The pull to a new future, though attractive conceptually, was too vague, too unspecific to give me the necessary confidence to exit.

So I stayed.  For at least three years longer than I wanted.  Inert.

I fell into a trap that I now see many would-be Corporate Escapologists fall into, which is an over-focus on ‘what to do next’, rather than ‘why move?’.

I stayed put because I tried to imagine myself doing a bunch of roles – consultant, coach, mentor, writer, entrepreneur etc – and always came away wanting.  I always found more reasons to doubt myself or those career paths: lack of confidence, network, capabilities or whether I could make enough money.

And then I’d look at my comfy corporate job and it just seemed easier to stay put.

But the questions kept coming. And I kept searching for something that the corporate job couldn’t provide.

Not just a job or even a role.

I was searching for something much deeper:  I was looking for autonomy.

Autonomy shows up for me now in a feeling of more choice in what I do and when I do it. When I return to work after the Christmas holidays or whether I work on Fridays or not.

It shows up in being in control of generating my own income – rather than depending on a monthly salary.  And particularly in having a buffer so I don’t panic.

And it shows up in knowing that I’m not tied so much to the egos, whims and insecurities of other people as I once was.  Last year, one senior client I worked with didn’t behave so well and it was liberating to think “I can walk” without the kind of consequences you face when it’s your boss and your career depends on their view of you.

But the main way autonomy shows up is in my self-confidence and how I feel about myself.  I don’t think I looked particularly under-confident in my old corporate job, but I was. I was overly dependent on how others viewed me.  I felt trapped and had plateaued.  I hadn’t really been tested so had let myself believe I was average.

It feels much better now and I want that feeling for you too.

A new year is always a time for reflection and also for some ambition.

Many of you reading this blog will be wondering if this is the year you’ll leave and what you’ll do next.

Try not to do what I did and focus too much on roles or jobs, but instead think about what you want life or work to feel like in your next chapter. Imagine what it will feel like, how will you feel about yourself, how will you come across to others, what opportunities will it open up.

To help you out, I’ve shared a few ‘Whys’ of clients I’ve worked with over the past year. They might inspire you to bring some clarity and articulation to your ambitions.

• I want more time to myself.

• My family needs me right now.

• I want more variety in the kind of work I do.

• I want to be my own boss.

• I want to feel more connected with my family.

• I want to be the expert.

• I want to invest in me.

• I want to feel like I’m growing again.

• I want more control.

• I’ve been the breadwinner, now I want something for me.

If I can help, you know where I am.