Avoiding average

This week was a good one in the Forbes household, as Bertie, my youngest, got a music scholarship for one of his preferred schools.  He plays the saxophone really well but had to overcome a bunch of fears to sing (never easy for an 11 year old boy), so he could use his voice as his second instrument.

It’s utterly brilliant but it’s created a quandary.

He has another offer from a school that’s more academic, a school he really wanted to go to because it’s seen as better (because it’s more academic).

Feedback from that school was that his test scores were “ok”, but it was the interview that got him the place.

He has a personality.  He’s got a talent.  He’s an all-rounder, good at sport, pretty good at art.  Good enough at maths and English.

For me, there’s no quandary.  He should go to the school where he has the chance to excel in something he’s naturally good at and enjoys.  The fact it’s less academic doesn’t bother me – and anyway it’s outweighed by the opportunities on offer from a really inspiring music department with chances to perform in London and abroad.

My bleak assessment of Bertie in the more academic school is he might get a bit lost.  He might feel flat if he doesn’t excel.  I reckon he might give up the saxophone if out outshone by others.

And I worry that all that natural confidence that got him a place (even though his grades were only “ok”) will gradually be chipped away.

But I’m fifty this year.

I know that ‘average’, ‘good enough’, ‘middle of the road’ don’t help you to stand out – or indeed stand for much.

I’ve learnt this lesson the hard way, the long way.

Like many corporate people (and almost all of my podcast guests – it’s a theme) I worked hard at school, got good grades in all manner of subjects I didn’t enjoy and didn’t always find easy. I then climbed on to the corporate conveyor belt and pretty much clicked repeat.

Although I felt like I had an instinct for marketing, I didn’t properly work in marketing for almost 15 years.  But then I flew. And the more I flew, the more I trusted myself to take risks that paid off and it all worked out fine.

In my early 30s I found myself in Finance, running huge planning exercises that literally took all year – and then the cycle would begin again.  I worked harder in those jobs than any job before or since – and I was average.  Average, because the people around me were not.  10% more effort for them translated into 20% more impact (personal as well as business).  I was treading water.  Something I was also fairly terrible at.

I later learnt about the flywheel concept and realised that in Finance I was burdened by frictions, requiring serious effort to overcome.  Whereas for me in marketing, there were none and it was effortless to be really good.  I ran these technology showcases all over the world and became famous in bp as the guy you needed if you ever wanted to impress a partner, a client, an investor.

Looking back I was lucky I found that flywheel and I got the opportunity to spin it (thank you Andy Brayshaw).

Many people aren’t as fortunate – and they’re working in jobs that neither play to their strengths nor give them joy.  And that picture can get worse as they rise up in the ranks and specialise with a narrower remit.  The opportunities to try their hand at different things can diminish quite rapidly.

But all’s not lost, it never is.

The answer may not be within their current job or with their current organisation. They may need to break with convention, with the pathway that may seem predetermined and take control.

It takes courage.

When I look at my eleven year old boy who has ten times the confidence and self-awareness I had at his age, I really hope he avoids the conventional path to average and instead takes the one where he can really nurture his talent, build and retain his confidence and do what he loves.

I think that’s how he’ll avoid average.

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Another week and another podcast.  This time with Steve Parkins’ pod Culture Edge.  Steve is another Corporate Escapologist from SGS and before that ABN-AMRO.  Like me, Steve’s super interested in the intersection between startups and corporates, so I shared some of my reflections having been on both sides of the fence and now sitting right on the fence running Shell’s cleantech accelerator.  

I also shared some reflections on leaving corporate life to build or even join a startup – I think it’s hard, not impossible of course, but I think there’s a sweet spot when corporate people can transform a startup/scale-ups fortunes.

Take a listen here or here or here.

And there’s the Escape Method course as well, you could give that a try.